Wedding Favors; A Thoughtful Thank You!

Planning a wedding can truly be a very harrowing experience. Sometimes, in the middle of the wedding plans, the stress causes couples to even break up and call off the wedding. With all that anxiety and frustration, who would have the time to think about the final item on your wedding list; the infamous wedding favor or even the wedding shower favors
These small items can be easily overlooked or pushed into the background; putting buying them off until the very end. After all, with the reception, gown, band, flowers, photographer and so many more responsibilities to take care of, why would we spend time on this little gift for our guests? And most times you can find awesome, very affordable wedding favors.

Wedding favors, although all of the above is true, should not be an afterthought. These little trinkets are a personal thank you from the happy couple to their guests for attending their special day. Many times, the main thing that is remembered by your guests are the unique wedding favors they received. And why wouldn’t they? They bring it home and if it’s reusable, something they will look at for months or ever years to come.

For hundreds of years, these thank you items have been an important part of showers and weddings. A couple of centuries ago, the success of a wedding depended on what the guests felt about their wedding favor. In fact, there is still an old wife’s tale that says; if your guests love what the couple gives them, then they will have a happy marriage.

Of course, we agree that this is not as important as other elements on your wedding planning list, but as already said, don’t overlook it. That would be like overlooking your guests and what they thing about your wedding. So put it in its rightful place but always keep in the back of your mind that it is the highlight of your guest’s table and what they reach for the second they sit down and talk about during the entire wedding with the other guests.

It’s very easy to find an amazing favor without putting in much effort. As you are traveling to wedding boutiques for a wedding gown or to pick out your flowers or whatever, just keep this small item on the back of your mind. As you are deciding on more important aspects of your wedding, you may stumble across the perfect gift for your guests. More than likely, if you find it this way, it will blend into the theme of your wedding and become a beautiful addition that your guests will cherish for a long time.

Congratulations! You’ve gotten engaged and you’re both very excited! After all the celebrating dies down, you will be setting a date to tie the knot and buying those unique wedding favors in no time. At that point, you have two adventures in your future: getting married with beginning your new life together and planning your wedding day. The first will put a smile on your face, while thinking of the second can be a bit overwhelming. If you put your thoughts down on paper and chart what you have to accomplish very methodically, you’ll have an easy go. To help you along, adhere to the following and the beginning of your task will be done.

First things first; set your wedding date. And this is not as easy as it sounds. You’ll want to consider times of year, seasons, especially if you want to give out fall wedding favors, vacation time allotment at your places of employment, etc. After you find the perfect day, find two more backup dates in case you cannot secure the reception venue you love at that specific time.

Next, purchase two journals. One is to keep you organized, allowing you to write down phone numbers, email addresses etc. of people you speak to regarding all of your needs. The second journal is for you personally. There will be moments that you will want to remember or times where you just need to vent and write down your thoughts. These two journals are priceless, as well as very enjoyable to look back at many years down the road.

Now is the time to announce your engagement. This can be done by having an engagement party, sending out personal announcements or taking out an ad in print publications. Also, making a website to announce your engagement is becoming very popular.

Once you have the above accomplished, you can breathe a sigh of relief; but only for a moment. Now is where you have to get very realistic. The wedding budget is next on our list. At this point, you probably know already if either set of parents are paying for, or helping financially with your wedding. This will determine what kind of a wedding you will plan. Set your budget at least $1,000 less than you can afford. Every wedding exceeds their financial resources and it will bode well when that day comes if you planned for it.

At this time, you should choose your attendants. Most wedding have between 2 and 12, but it is entirely up to you both as to large a bridal party you’d like. Remember, attendants do much more than walk down the aisle and look pretty. They will help with bridal shower planning, buy the bridal shower favors, throw the bachelor party, help with nonsensical responsibilities and help keep you both sane. Give this much thought, because once you ask, you cannot take back your invitation for them to be a part.

Probably the most important thing to do regarding planning the beginnings of your wedding day, is finding the perfect venue for the ceremony and reception. Many are booked even more than a year in advance, so have several in mind, always remembering that recommendations from family and friends are very important.

Last but not least, if your budget warrants it, consider a wedding planner. They do everything from finding you the perfect venue (and usually at a reduced cost) to making sure she has an emergency sewing kit on your big day. Even if you can’t afford a professional planner, get support in this area from family and friends. They truly can help this very stressful wedding planning time actually be enjoyable.

Before you can even decide what to include in your personalized ceremony or what kind of unique wedding favors you will buy, you have to first decide where you will be married. Many opt for their place of worship, while others love the little chapel up the street. Also, many banquet halls/reception areas have specific rooms on their grounds set aside in case you choose to get married right there. Wherever you decide, every bride I have ever known wanted the ceremony and her surroundings to be an extension of her. And that is not that difficult as I will explain. Let’s discuss, personalizing the wedding ceremony.

Flowers are the first thing that comes to your mind when you decide what to have around you during the ceremony. And that isn’t a bad thing. Colorful flowers can dress up even the most drab areas. But, let’s think out of the box for a second and decide how we can make this a bit different.

First question is: what are the bride’s favorite colors? Are they going to be incorporated in the unique favors? This is probably the color used for the bridesmaid’s gowns also. Does she have a favorite flower? Does that flower come in her wedding colors? Once that is all decided, we can move on to personalizing your ceremony.

One wedding I consulted on last winter was amazing. After asking all the correct questions, I discovered that the bride loved the shape of snowflakes and loved white, which is why they were getting married in February in New York. Armed with that bit of knowledge, my mind went wild. Who says that the only thing you can use in a ceremony setting are flowers? Exactly. Why not add some beautiful unique wedding favors.

We went shopping at Michael’s Craft Store (which is just the best place in the world to find anything and everything to make your wedding personal) and found snowflakes which were both white and clear. We bought several dozen of both of them. (They were very inexpensive also, by the way). We then stopped at the local fabric store and purchased (on sale) some lightweight chiffon-like material. The bride was intrigued but had no idea what was going on in my head, but she trusted me. I explained what I was about to do and she agreed.

The day of the wedding came and I and my assistants had worked until late the night before getting the chapel ready. When the guests came in, they all gasped at the beauty of what they saw. The altar area had two large vases of white flowers (many different inexpensive kinds which the florist designed) which were accented in pale lavender, the color of her bridesmaids. One vase was on each side of the altar area. The ceiling was high, so we had to improvise. We hung transparent fish line from the ceiling and pinned it to areas of the material to create an arch over the altar area where the couple would be standing to say their vows. Along the material area after it was hung, we attached the snowflakes, hung by the fishing line. We created different levels of snowflakes to give it dimension. I rented for only $30 for the day, a professional light which had a lavender plastic film over it, to shine from the balcony area, onto the material and snowflakes. Everything glistened. Lastly, I put a couple of tables on the altar covered with the same inexpensive material and topped them with several sizes of lit candles. Voila! A personalized ceremony which expressed the bride and groom perfectly. And it was very inexpensive.

So you see, whatever you like, whatever you desire, bring it to life. Think out of the box and your wedding will express exactly who you are. Then the wedding is not ‘just another wedding’ but one that you can be so proud of and enjoy as you look back on that special time.

These set of articles are written to help you make your wedding day all it can be, and to accentuate the pitfalls and do's and dont's which can contribute to this day being a blessing or a disaster. In my two decades of wedding consulting, I’ve definitely seen my share of disasters. And unfortunately, most of these lists come out of the many problems I’ve seen over the years. I’ve always said, a person can learn two ways; through wisdom or by experience. I’m trying to lessen your experience by giving you tips for the wise, in hoping you’ll heed my advice acquired over many years.

This first installment is a general overview of certain points which are very important so your wedding day will run much smoother.

Make sure you sent your wedding invitations out 6-8 weeks before your wedding date.
Be realistic about picking out the size and style of your wedding gown. Are you really going to lose all that weight? Remember, alterations are very expensive.
When choosing a photographer, find out if he can shoot in black and white also. Some ceremony photos like that are so amazingly beautiful and timeless.
Make sure to look for cheap wedding favors. They are all over the internet.

Set a budget and stay there! Most first marital battles are about finances. It’s just not worth it.
Send your thank you cards out no later than 2-3 months after the wedding.
Take time when selecting your music for your reception. Your first dance has to be a song that you both love and evokes memories of your time knowing each other.
Don’t invite guests that you really don’t like and you would rather not see at your wedding. It will ruin your day, more than spending a lot on your wine wedding favors

If you are having others do your hair and make-up, have a ‘dry run’. You don’t want to be shocked and/or disappointed on the day of your wedding. This is probably one of the most overlooked tips and one of the most important.

Make sure you both see at least 10 wedding venues before making a decision on one.
Make sure you have a food tasting at the venue you’ve selected before you sign any contract.
When purchasing a wedding cake, taste it before buying. Also, you can save money by having them put a ‘faux cake’ in the reception room but then cutting another cake to serve and eat.
Think about the likes and ages of your wedding party before purchasing gifts for them.
If you are going with limos, don’t overbook them. Find out how many each one comfortably holds then book accordingly.

Don’t forget to invite the officiant to your wedding reception.
Don’t forget to add the band and/or DJ to the reception guest list if you are going to feed them.
Take dance lessons. You’ll feel so wonderful if you do.
Register for a wide variety of gifts at a few different places. Also make sure that there is something for everyone’s budget, as well as making sure you thank your guests with special personalized wedding favors.

Preserve your gown. Your own daughter might want to wear it one day.
Select wedding favors that agree with the theme of the wedding and/or that reflect your style, personality and interests.
Make sure your maid of honor, or another attendant, knows how to bustle your dress.

The above are general rules for making your day run smoothly. There are many more that will be covered in later publications. Learn from those that have been there and done that, and your day will be very beautiful and you actually may even enjoy it.